Anti Bullying – Stop Making Bullies
“If people are trying to bring you down, it only means that you are above them”
And just when I thought I am gonna fly high with my dreams, I got bullied!! Yes this is me in this picture and yes I have been bullied. Today on this Anti Bulling Day I am sharing with you my bully story along with how much I hate bullying myself and tell you some tips from personal experience how you can fight bullying.
My Bullying Story
Sitting in the lovely reception of air hostess training institution, recalling what my mother said about me being the most beautiful girl in the world brought a smile to my face. And suddenly I heard some laughing and whispering. Looked for the source I found some girls. Figured these girls are probably going to be my classmates, sitting beside me looking at my half shaved teenage leg which was slightly visible through my slit-skirt which was the reason behind their gossip. I remained patient but what I did not understand why these girls just did not come to me and said something instead of laughing and let a boy join their conversation and tell all about it.
Yes this boy whom I am gonna name Abby (name changed) was the person who made my life close to hell and at one time I was terrified to go to the class. He started taunting, whispering, laughing and there was not a single day I did not leave the Institute without tears in my eyes while he did not even start actual bullying yet. It all started when one day the class teacher called me in front of the class, saw me from head to toe and asked me something I couldn’t answer. At that time my English was not so good too and she shouted on me saying “Why even are you here? You don’t have a good height, you have eye problem, you can’t speak English, how did you get the admission?”. There was the whole class laughing, whispering, looking at me with hatred like I was dirty insect. This incident shattered me because I never knew a teacher could do this to a student. Soon I was labeled “the girl who doesn’t speak English”
After multiple similar incident with the teacher I decided to report the teacher to the management but I did not have the courage to do that time. And here comes Abby. He made it sure to bully me every single day. One day he called me and asked me about where I stay, my family members, schooling etc and I thought it was over. But next day I understood he was just taking information to bully more. He started calling me names, started blaming my parents for my birth.
Calling me “Dumb” because I was not good in English
Calling me “Poor” for not having a car and a mobile
Calling me “Short height” for being 5’1”
Calling me “Bitch” for showing my face everyday
Calling me “Ugly” for not owning the makeup with big labels
Calling me “Whore” for not having boyfriend
Calling me “Fat” for not being skinny
And everyday a new name was added for me. The more I cry, the more he does that in front of everyone. And surprisingly no one came out to help me but everyone enjoyed and laughed. I thought of talking to him and asking, “What was his problem?”. The answer I got was “FUCK OFF BITCH”. I wanted to tell my mom but figured she would be worried. After a night’s thought I made a strategy to not cry while facing him. I would imagine cockroaches crawling over his mouth while seeing him and that expression on my face made him confused.
Finding the Light
Did it work? YES it did. Did it stop? NO. Then I heard that teacher who was also bullying me in some way had to move out as she was having trouble with her daughter and was in huge mental trauma. Ah!! I found the ray of hope. The issue was always in front of my eyes. It was never about ME. It was about Abby. He was constantly being bullied by his family. He had a lot of feminine behaviors as a boy and that must be the reason he was not supported by family or friends outside. I starting noticing movements around him and noticed his own friends bitch about him for being different. He was just bullying me because he wanted to pass that hatred to me and wanted to put an image of him as a cool dude.
So next day when he served his usual slangs for me I said “It is ok to call me names, I know you have your issues with your family”. My words hit him bad and he started using more bitter slangs on me. But I fought back and said “It’s ok to feel good about yourself. Your parents will support for who you are. Just tell them and they will understand”. And it started working. Although he kept going with his routine for some more days but my words were “Tell them, face them”. Eventually he stopped talking to me and started avoiding.
Anti Bullying – Stop Making Bullies
This gave me the real life lesson that those who bully others are actually constantly getting bullied by family or friends for whatever the reasons are. Every human being has both qualities and flaws and you should accept your family and friends like the way they are. So on this Anti Bullying day instead of saying “STOP BULLYING”, I would request all to “STOP MAKING BULLIES”
How to face bullying?
Here is what I learned on how to fight bullying from my real life experience:
- Never cry and show your weak side. Always face straight towards the bully and challenge him/her.
- Like the way you would use a weapon to defend yourself from an attacker, similarly bully back the person who is bullying you. Remember the bully has own problems and has no right to destroy your life for their issue.
- Remember it is never early or late to tell parents and teachers that you are being bullied. Let the parents talk to the Bully’s parents and handle it separately. Remember The bully is the person who needs help and not You.
- If your parents say ” It’s gonna be okay” show them movies/videos on how bully victims even end up to suicide so that they understand the gravity of the issue.
- Try to find out the weak point or the problem in bully itself and hit him/her there first in a supportive and then in hurting way if it does not work.
- Do not stress thinking that you have no friends supporting you because these people will not be there throughout your life and do not spoil your valuable time thinking about it.
- If you see someone being bullied in front of your eyes always protest instead of laughing at it thinking you might be next victim.
- For parents please do not bully your child in such a way that he/she becomes a bully and destroys someone else’s life. There are ways of handling this in constructive way.
- If you are being bullied and not getting any help from anyone, google the local bullying helpline number and report them about your incident.
Do you know that 3.2 million students are victim of bullying each year! Approximately 160,000 teens skip school every day because of bullying. 1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying and will only intervene 4% of the time. I was so sad to know that 1 in 10 students drop out of school because of repeated bullying.
Bullying is a cockroach to this society, which everyone talks about, hates it but do very less to actually kill it. Some people even enjoy when they see it crawling over others. May 4 is declared as the official Anti Bullying day and pink is the official color of anti-bulling. Support it and help those being bullied.
Today’s post has been quiet long and very personal. I am sorry if some of the pictures or words have hurt you but it had be to be said in this way so that people become aware what life is faced by the persons who are bullied. I hope everyone who reads this will support anti bullying from now on. And don’t even think of bullying me now, I WILL DESTROY YOU 🙂